this might be a post about john winchester
tw for discussions of abuse/neglect. nothing too detailed
I’m rewatching s1 and this post made me think of a line in Scarecrow, where Dean says to Sam:
“You stand up to Dad, you always have. Hell, I wish I—”
And he cuts himself off, because Dad’s given us an order and it’s called being a good son and even now Dean is on this job instead of looking for John the way he obviously wants to, because Dean is a good little soldier but that doesn’t mean he’s completely unaware of the problems with the way John brought them up. He wishes he knew how to articulate them or how to confront John, tell him you are not being fair and you are not what a father should be, but Dean remembers John being a good father between the ages of zero and four, and I think he’s forgiven John for so long and for so much because he hopes, if he does everything exactly the way John tells him, that he’ll get that functional loving father back.
(Which reminds me of this line from Skin: “Hell, I did everything Dad asked and he ditched me too.” Because that’s not how it works. Whatever John was like before Mary died, he’s gone too far to become that again. And I think some part of Dean knows that. I think as soon as John let Sam leave them rather than give up his quest, Dean knew that.)
so, i think i’m going to write hp/spn?
not spn at hogwarts, but harry ends up on our side of the pond and gets into demon huntin’.
feels re: this?
I am suddenly overcome with the desire to see Harry and Ron as Ghostfacers and Hermione is Maggie Zeddmore but probably also secretly God because the real title of that series is “Hermione Granger and the Time I Saved Two Idiots From a Crisis” and also now I’m shipping Hermione with Charlie hardcore, send help
#harry is pretty okay at shooting things but he loses his head when civilians are in danger #ron is trigger-happy but utter bollocks at exorcisms #IT’S AUDI NOS #meanwhile hermione calmly mixes up the spells and hex bags that keep them safe #and bullies them into gettin anti-possession tattoos even though they both whine like babies through the whole procedure #oh shit harry would totally be the righteous man wouldn’t he #does this mean I should be shipping him with castiel #what if he gets rachel though #and then rachel and hermione are bffs about these dumb jocks they have to corral #but harry gets really excited when they hunt dragons#and it’s cute #so they let him stay #meanwhile luna and pamela are best friends
oh, looks like this is a thing i’m going to do
definitely all over this now
LUNA PAMELA YES. YES YES YES.
#1) envisioning cas/harry otp #2) OH MY GOD DRAGONS #3) what if the winchesters are extremely distantly related and harry was actually one of the next options for the righteous man #(in a ~canon compliant ‘verse) #and tfw runs into harry and ron and hermione and cas recognizes the potential of his soul #because even though dean and sam think that witches are the worst thing ever cas can see that their souls go untainted by their magic
3. NO STOP YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND MY COMPULSION TO MAKE FAMILY TREES, I HAVE ALREADY HEADCANON’D A BRANCH OF THE CAMPBELLS INTO SCOTLAND
but more to the point yes, oh my god, what if harry and dean are both looking at each other going “this? this was your other option?” but let’s not lie dean is totally won over when hermione makes his last untainted slice of pie multiply in front of him. also, apparition? really fucking useful.
but, ooh, what if harry was one of the special children slated for lucifer’s vessel?? heir of slytherin feelings, harry is sick to fucking death of being ~chosen~ by these evil forces and having everyone assume he’s a monster—which let’s be honest the winchesters probably think for the first six months of their acquaintance—but then maybe he finds out that sam has demon blood too and he is like “so why do you assume we are evil if you know what it’s like” and then harry/sam whoops
(dean is pissed because now sam AND cas like wizard boy better than him)
2. ron gets kidnapped by the dragons. but it’s cool, his brother taught him how to handle this, and nobody really needs eyebrows.
1. I was going to make a joke about this but then I thought about harry and claire novak bonding because you have your parent’s eyes but that is all they will ever have and then I cried and I was in the bath
John never forgot Michael, not really. He never remembered it, but there was always something in the back of his head that he knew. Never trusted the idea of angels after, but he kept quiet for Mary’s sake. Afterward, though, he didn’t have to hold back. Somehow, he always kept searching for Michael again. He’d known, in the short span that Michael had possessed him, that he wasn’t the true vessel. Dean, the son he didn’t know then, was the vessel Michael was waiting for. For the rest of his life John felt empty, emptier still when Mary died, and he kept searching for something that could fill the void. Azazel was able to possess him easily after that. And he’d driven Dean so hard because some part of him saw Dean as competition. Dean would take Michael away from John, but Sam wouldn’t, and so he was safe.
(all of this is based vaguely from Kate’s theory and some things that Lena and I were throwing around on AIM just now)
This is why Apocrypha should be required reading for everyone, because it totally deals with John’s repressed vessel trauma and Michael’s impact on the Winchester bloodline and GOD GOD GOD IT IS JUST SO GOOD YOU GUYS, SO GOOD.